A camp classic

Hello Muddah,

hello Faddah;

Here I am at camp Granada.

Camp is very entertaining;

And they say we'll have some fun if it stops raining.

I went hiking with Joe Spivey;

He developed poison ivy.

You remember, Leonard Skinner?

He got ptomaine poisoning last night after dinner.

All the counselors hate the waiters;

And the lake has alligators.

And the head coach wants no sissies;

So he reads to us from something called Ulysses.

Now I don't want this should scare ya',

But my bunkmate has Malaria.

You remember Jeffery Hardy;

They're about to organize a searching party.

Take me home,

oh Muddah, Faddah;

Take me home,

I hate Grenada.

Don't leave me

out in the forest where

I might get eaten by a bear.

Take me home;

I promise I will not make noise,

or Mess the house with other boys.

Oh please don't make me stay;

I've been here one whole day.

Dearest Faddah,

Darling Muddah;

How's my precious little bruddah?

Let me come home if you miss me;

I would even let Aunt Bertha hug and kiss me.

Wait a minute,

it's stopped hailing;

Guys are swimming,

guys are sailing;

Playing baseball;

gee that's bettah;

Muddah, Faddah, kindly disregard this letter.